We Don't Use Preservative 282

Think you're so good eh? Too good to be using preservative 282. What's preservative 282 ever done to you for you not to want to utilise its preserving properties?
Not only do you not use it, you advertise your boycotting of preservative 282. Is that neccessary? Is it not enough you don't use it yourself that you have to subtely warp others into thinking preservative 282 is sinister and as such they must avoid using it as well?
Perhaps you have had a personal slight by preservative 282, perhaps you couldn't use it to begin with, it didn't wish to be used by you, and as such, due to wounded pride and dignity you have twisted the event into making others believe you were the one to put your foot down, you were the one to deny preservative 282 when in fact preservative 282 rejected you.
"Preservative 282 is for the convenience of the manufacturer not the consumer."
Of course you are working for the consumer, a large franschised manufacturer such as yourself would never work for, well, yourself.
You are using preservative 282 as a scapegoat, by publicly dismissing its presence in your products, you are leading the consumers to believe you are working for them, doing it for their benefit. Preservative 282 is your unwitting decoy.

I'm on to you, Bakers Delight.