Fashion Magazines

I recently, in a state of dizzy-headedness, purchased a popular fashion magazine for my purusing pleasure.

I was not surprised in the slightest at the quality of the articles withing that fashion magazine. I was expecting that. I got what I expected.
However, something did surprise me..
(Oh no, you say, whatever could surprise the jaded imbittered Lucy?)

Every second article blamed whatever that article was on on the primal instincts and base nature of human beings.
Why men like to be dominant- cave men days.
Why chicks are hot when they eat- cave men days.
Why one should blend liquid eyeliner with powder eyeshadow- cave men days.

Really,
silly people are gonna start believing this shite soon.

Why'd you rob the bank?
Reverting back to my cave men days.

Why did you get a double shot of expresso as well as hazlenut syrup in your mocchachino?
Embrassing the raw primal instincts so far lying dormant within me.

On the positive side of fashion magazines, I got a hair cut, am taking their 12 week exercise/starvation/don't starve yourseflf program to fit into "that" dress and will be able to pick up a guy with my feminine mentrual phychic girl powers.
Go me.
(I blame it all on the cave men)