"I'd kick you... if I had legs"

I see pepsi max is the proud new official sponser of the "special people's" Commonwealth games.

Well done.

Marine Aid For Navigation

Have you ever thought about how long eternity is?
Probably not. It's something none of us like to think about.
Makes us feel pointless and insignificant.
It doesn't matter how you look at it, eternity is a very long time. Doesn't matter what you are getting up to in it.
From a mathematical point of view, one could liken eternity to an infinite number of years.
We have a finite number of years.
Anything finite divided by infinity is as good as zero, so we will just say it is zero.
Therefore, on this timeline, nothing we do, nothing we could even think up to do, can make any dint of a difference upon anything.

Feeling uncomfortable?

What can we do about this?
The answer is rather obvious: nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

However, maybe this isn't as easy as initially believed.
Let us stress and fill our lives with trivial shite, so as to keep our minds of the inevitable ceasation of living, and think that we do matter in the grand scale of things: all we have to do is keep breeding and spawning offspring that will mutate with the changing universe, and in a near-infinate span of time, there will exist a part of you still inhabiting the space-time continuum.

Lucy the Magnificent

Has a better ring to it than 'Lucy the Valient' don't you think.
Valience.
VALIENCE
Certainly not MAGNIFICENCE!
Sure its one up on just and gentle.
But honestly!

Two words and two words only should follow the name Lucy and the:
GREAT
MAGNIFICENT

Someone should have perhaps alerted C.S Lewis to this fact.
Probably a good thing he is dead so that he now does not have to face the wrath of my outraged fans.

He and his valience can just go home. With a goat-man. And Fawnicate (sorry, couldn't help myself with that one).

Belts

Here is a looooooong overdue rant.
In the highly overused dialect of Jerry Seinfeld, "What is with belts today?"
Try going to the shop to buy a belt. One which looks like a belt, and not a gigantic piece of shredded cow hide attempting to cover the grossly overweight hips of a "fashionable" female.
To be fashionable, one must follow the next few simple rules:
1) wear a skirt which is thinner than the belt to go over it
2) wear the belt 5 inches too low (i.e, below the skirt)
3) collect all you body fat and store it on the hipal region (make sure there is not one gram left on the legs)
4) be stupid

I put this question to you:
What is the role of the modern day belt loop?

It seems to have lost all function, all sense of its former self, its whole identity being wiped out with todays crazy "fat-belt" rage.
Some may argue it is inevitable, merely evolution. Much like the appendix. Still hanging around, not serving any purpose. Even getting in the way.
Who here has cut their belt loops off their pants?

Personally, I will hang on to my belt loops. You never know when you may actually want to keep your pants held up (I will refrain from any lude jokes regarding this).

The Youth For Disenfranchised Belt Loops and Skinny Belts.
The Elderly For Fattening Our Belts Up. We didn't fight and die in the war just so you get fatten your belts up to hideous proportions so they wont fit in your belt loops.

And belt buckles, don't get me started on those diamonte-encrusted gigantuan pieces of manufactured Shite!